Maria, Elyssa, Walter, Lucy, Dorothy, Martha and Judis linking up

This past Wednesday night over 40 neighbors and community partners came together at the Wheaton Library for the first Network Orientation. We have been having these types of events in Silver Spring for six months, but this was the first time we had one in Wheaton and we had no idea what to expect…

In the end, we decided to keep it very simple. Our two goals for the night were: (1) for neighbors to get to know each other and (2) for them to begin to share information and find simple ways to support each other.

To start, we did the “link up” activity — this gave everyone an opportunity to share some personal things about themselves (where they were from, how many kids they have, groups they are a part of, favorite hobbies…) and literally connect with others (by linking arms). By the end, we had formed a large circle of connected neighbors that all had one thing in common with the person standing next to them.

Walkiria & Yamileth sharing their story of connecting

Then, to illustrate the power of a community network, we had Neighbor Corps participants share some of the connections they have already made (see Ira’s earlier post for more details about this).

Finally, with the remaining time, Ira led the group through an exercise we call “Support Action”. This is a chance for participants to ask for support, make an announcement or request input on a specific topic. In just 30 minutes, some amazing connections were made!

For example, Jimmy offered to put Scott in touch with a bookkeeper; I found out Mary is looking for babysitting opportunities and she can help us out in the future; Alpha knew that IHOP was hiring and was able to share that information with Jacobo who is looking for a job; a number of residents are following up with Elyssa about English classes that the Gilchrist Center offers…and those are just a few of the examples!

Roxanne and Miguel describing their collaboration

By the end of the meeting everyone had made at least one valuable connection and the librarians had to kick us out of the building at 9pm — people kept talking and talking.

Stay tuned for more about our plans to do similar network building on Tuesday nights at Catholic Charities!

Last night, the Nob Hill/Quebec Terrace support group met for the fourth straight Wednesday (taking a break only for Thanksgiving). After taking an official ESOL placement exam last week, the residents were clearly ready to get our very own ESOL class up and running as soon as possible. But, still, many practical obstacles stood in our way: we had yet to find a volunteer teacher, we needed ESOL work books, we still hadn’t secured a weekly meeting spot…etc. 

As much as Ray and I wanted to use this as a capacity building moment and really start passing off some responsibilities to the group members, we also just wanted something concrete to finally happen…So we met with the ESOL program head at SS Intl. Middle School, Mary-Anne Hess. First, she surprised us by generously donating a dozen in-class and homework study books for each of the group members. Then, with the aid of a teacher’s manual (which she also let us keep) I went ahead with forming a tentative lesson plan. And at the last minute, Lillian Maysonet of Linkages to Learning at New Hampshire Estates Elem. School agreeed to once again be kind enough to host our group in her private conference. Just like that we had the makings of our very own English class!!!

But wait. Something was missing. Of course it was great that since our last meeting Ray and I had made real strides in overcoming some of the basic obstacles to starting the class, but if along the way we aren’t intentionally creating opportunities for the members to take the lead on some key planning components, can we be sure that members truly feel ownership over the group and will be committed to it in the long run? 

And so in the final minutes right before kicking off the meeting Ray and I decided to focus the meeting not on providing a preliminary English lesson. Instead, our main objective would be to better gauge exactly what the members wanted to get out of the group, where they saw it going, how they saw themselves being involved…etc.

But before getting to the tougher work of assigning various logisitical tasks for starting the ESOL class to group members, we started with going around in a circle reflecting on just how far we’ve come in just over a month as a group. I mean, think, it wasn’t even 5 weeks ago that we met at the Neighbors Exchange, and first came up with the idea of holding a follow-up meeting. Now, after holding 4 additional “unemployment support group” sessions, Martin (a regular in my blog postings) has found a stable job, each member has taken the ESOL placement exam and we’re closer than ever to being permitted by the YMCA Family and Children Services to host potentially 2/week ESOL classes in their Nob Hill center. These were at least the accomplishments that immediately popped into my head.

Of course, the group expressed excitement about these more tangible advances, but for them, what has been most important is the unmeasurable: the unique opportunity to just have a couple hours a week during which they can relax, catch up with neighbors, vent any immediate concerns they have and, in being part of something bigger than themselves, temporarily forget about all the struggles–both large and small–they face day after day.

But, even in appreciating all that we’ve done in such a short amount of time, the group members weren’t blinded as to the challenges that lay ahead. Immediately Juevntina expressed dissapointment that so many members of the community who would genuinely benefit from being a part of the group, hadn’t been reached out to. She asked, “now that we know how much we get out of this, isn’t it our responsibility to share it with others?” The rest of the group emphatically agreed, but quickly got stuck on how to possibily go about doing this. “Isn’t it too early to invite new members before we’ve even found a permanent meeting space?” Ana and Melvis both asked. “How can we just go up and talk to strangers?”

What do you get when you put Gaithersburg residents, Resource Partners and network members in a room together?

A very successful Neighbors Exchange!

Over 40 residents from Executive Gardens, East Deer Park Gardens, Gaither House and Flowers Apartments came to meet their neighbors and connect with the many resources that are available in the community. After enjoying some delicious food from Antojitos, we all introduced ourselves and thanks to Alix, Jean-Paul, Ray and Ruth who helped with French and Spanish interpretation throughout the night, everyone was able to understand what was going on!

Then, we split up into 3 circles: one to talk about jobs, one about health care services, and one for emergency services. In the emergency services circle, we discussed things like where to go to apply for rental assistance, utility assistance, and food stamps (Neighborhood Service Center and City of Gaithersburg). Maureen Herndon (City of Gaithersburg) and Ruth Rivas (Family Services Inc) assured everyone that they would be happy to spend as long as it takes to meet everyones’ needs, they just have to stop in! The jobs circle was overwhelmingly popular and some of the stories we heard were from one woman who worked in retail but had been told by potential employers that she was overqualified for the positions. She needed help tailoring her resume to make her a better candidate and Hugh Bailey from Montgomery Works set up a meeting with her. Then we heard from one man who was a manager of a Latino market who needed employees and was able to connect with some people that were looking for employment! Dental care was the most pressing concern in the health care circle and three of the twelve residents shared that they have been managing their pain for weeks, unable to find affordable care.

After that, while  most people stayed in the jobs circle, everyone else stayed around to mingle with new friends and meet with the Resource Partners. A lot of people were interested in learning more about the Campaign and ways they could join to be more active in their community. It was obvious from the energy in the room that residents enjoyed the gathering and appreciated having a warm and supportive space where they could meet their neighbors and learn about community resources. We then made a decision to meet again in a week and spend more time to get to know one another and form a support network.

Stay tuned!

Naturally, Ray and I saw it as a perfect moment to bring up our door knocking/outreach and why we see it as such a key component of the larger Neighbors Campaign. But it wasn’t until we mentioned that we had only completed 500 of the 3500 door knocks that we had committed to that Juventina jumped in and said “But how can you guys do it on your own? Can we help?!!”

Before we even had time to celebrate her offer, she had convinced the others that instead of meeting, we should spend next Wednesday evening out in the community knocking on neighbors’ doors. As always, we immediately ran into another hurdle: What to do with the children? But instead of allowing that to slow them down, Marina and Rosario–both of whom had already expressed excitement about the possibility of door knocking–immediately offered to watch the kids while the others knock on doors for a couple hours. Looking to me and Ray, they both wondered if they could schedule other times when we could meet with them to go door knocking. Upon Marina’s suggestion, we made a weekly schedule tracking exactly what times different people are free to volunteer an hour or two each day.

Before concluding, we quickly went around and shared–in just a sentence–one thing that each of us had gotten out of the meeting. While they expressed in various ways, the message was resoundingly clear: we feel like we’re now in control of this group; whatever happens or doesn’t happen is because of us. If that’s not empowerment I’m not sure what is! Even though it might have taken us four weeks, we are now well on our way toward handing over leadership of the group over the group itself. Who knew losing control could feel so good?

Check in next week to see how their very first group door knocking goes.

This past Saturday, the DC metro region received its first snowfall of the season.  Many in the area likely took the opportunity to make some hot chocolate and curl up beside the fireplace with a good book.  The Wheaton Neighbor Corps participants, however, braved the snow and trekked to the Catholic Charities building to explore networks and their community.

We were rewarded for our courage with a delicious breakfast cooked by our fellow participant Martha Santos.  With our bellies full, we spent the morning learning about our connections as a Neighbor Corps network.  Yamileth shared the story of how the Neighbor Corps network helped her get a job with Walkiria’s non-profit, Centro de Apoyo Familiar.  Additionally, Walkiria was able to rent space at Amie’s office building after conversations they had during Neighbor Corps.  Roxanne and Barbara also told how their shared interests led to a connection over the issue of the Wheaton community center.  They have used the Neighbor Corps network to get others involved and receive help with grant writing.

In the afternoon, we transitioned from exploring existing networks to learning how to build new networks in our neighborhoods.  We split into four teams, each one based in a Wheaton apartment community.  Each team will have the responsibility of holding one dinner for their neighbors.  Miguel’s team is ahead of the curve- he’s already held two Circles in his house!  We can’t wait to see what the other teams put together!

After taking a break for Thanksgiving, the Nob Hill group was back at it in full force last night. Even though the heavy rain kept a couple of the regulars away, the six that showed up were as excited as ever just to hang out, catch up and take the first step toward forming our very own Nob Hill ESOl class…completing the English placement exam!

Mary-Anne gives a quick explanation of the exam

Mary-Anne Hess, a teacher/coordinator of the ESOL program offered at Sligo Intl. Middle School, administered the test. The group ranged from Samuel, who has actually completed several months of an advanced ESOL course all the way to Martin, who has almost no experience reading English.

After completing the half-hour long exam, the group took some time to plan potential next steps. As we started talking about setting up the next meeting, Ana voiced concern that too many members who’ve showed up in the past were absent last night. Immediately, Martin jumped in adding that while it’s important to have a good showing to maintain the group’s energy, people will show up according to their need/interest and that all we can do is reach out to them.

With that the group collectively decided to task each member with making a reminder phone call to one other member who didn’t make it last night. A kind of progressive phone tree, it seemed as the most suitable first step to gradually handing more and more control of the group to the group itself.

Ana and the others finishing up the exam

As far as the agenda for next meeting, Melvis suggested that with help from Elvis and Samuel, two of the more English-proficient participants, I design a basic introductory English lesson for next week. But before ending for the night Samuel’s soft-spoken wife, Marina, reiterated the importance of leaving time for the group to catch up each week and be able to offer any support individual members might need, whatever it might be. 

Stay tuned to see how the group continues to grow in the upcoming weeks!

Why might I choose to write about the communication tool called “feedback” on a blog about reaching out to neighbors in need during this time of crisis?

Too often in community life, we enter moments of new connection projecting a specific warm feeling we hope to achieve. This projection – while totally understandable and real – can cause problems down the road. We are not mounting a huge campaign to knock on 10,000 doors, simply to connect people in need to an emergency service.

We need to make these door knocks count towards more systemic, permanent change in neighborhoods struggling to redefine themselves in a moment of huge demographic shifts. At the end of the day – perhaps three years from now – we hope to find at least 100 people of very diverse backgrounds actively engaged in helping lead change efforts in each of the three communities.  We hope to be able to trace back and discover that – had it not been for a simple door knock back in 2009/2010 – these 100 people would not be connected and contributing.

Ok, you say – I get this, but why are you talking about  feedback? Time and time again, we see well intentioned people of diverse backgrounds (and those of homogeneous backgrounds) come together in a spark of warm community glow and jump down a path to “improve the community”. They link up with others, start holding meetings and initiate action.  Often, what happens early in the process is they encounter a moment of conflict with one of their new community friends or partners. It is usually over a small process step and doesn’t relate to their shared goal or an item of content. But, rather than confront their partner, they back away and give up; life is too busy and full to experience pain in the context of community. Or, in some cases. a person does challenge their partner, but does so in a way that pushes them away. They are left standing alone, trying to implement some grand community project with no help.

You have likely read about our joint initiative with HHS, MCCF and others to create Neighbor Corps, an effort to help diverse people build relationships of trust and the skills needed to weather the difficult human dynamics when we take on community change initiatives, especially across lines of difference.  Below are pictures of the Wheaton Neighbor Corps going through an intentional “speed feedback” practice session with each other at a recent Saturday gathering.  Just below the pictures is one of IMPACT’s six operating principles – the one dealing with active listening and feedback, with some practical tips. I hope this helps you, as you encounter natural difficult moments – and keeps you in the community change process.  Let us know if we can share with you our stories of trying to practice feedback and other tips/tools to use.

Operating Principle #5

We actively listen,  seek feedback, share honestly and acknowledge mistakes at every step of the way.

• Active Listening:

We focus on what others are saying, rather than thinking about our reactions to their ideas.

We ask clarifying questions when we are confused and do not understand.

• Seek Feedback and Share Honestly:

We check in with team members on a regular basis, using the following phrase: I need to check in with you about _____”.

We seek out and willingly receive other’s honest assessments and feedback of our own behaviors.

We offer our honest assessments and provide feedback when asked.

We carefully make requests for changes in behavior or a next step.

You might assume that on a cold rainy night, people might not open their door to a knock from a stranger.  We are often amazed, even after 3,000 door knocks, how isolated many residents feel and how a simple conversation at a door can restore hope and prompt a positive step. Check out the comments of this crew in Gaithersburg on November 24.

The group saying "Inglessss"

After the first unofficial meeting of the Nob Hill unemployment support circle last Wedneday, we met again, this time with a focus on the value of being able to speak English. Joining the seven Nob Hill residents were Rachel, the Exceutive Director from Montgomery Coalition for Adult English Literacy and Mary-Anne, the head of the MCAEL-sponsored ESOL classes offered at Silver Spring International Middle School.

But before we got in to the heavier portion of the meeting, it was only appropriate to bust out the cake and bubbly…to celebrate Martin’s finding a job on a demolition site nearby. If you don’t remember, Martin was the young man who, at both the Neighbors Exchange and the previous week’s support group’s meeting, shared the heartbreaking story of having a two week-old baby who he feared he couldn’t support as long as he remained jobless. As Martin explained last night, while the job he has now is temporary and wasn’t a direct result from any of our meetings, what the group has provided him is boosted morale and a sense of purpose. Community is a wonderful thing!

The kids ready to go home...or pose for more pics (Winta...)

But after we put away the chocolate cake and non-alcoholic champagne, it was time to get down to business. Group members told story after story of being subject to discrimination at the work place because of their limited English. Melvis said his construction site manager regular calls one of Melvis’ non-English speaking colleagues “stupid” to his face. His wife Rosario then told of how her and the other non-English speaking Latinos feel underappreciated and ignored on a daily basis. Tina mentioned how she feels that in general her English-speaking co-workers get away with working less, while still earning more than the average non-English speaker. Everyone in the group agreed.

Rosario explaining what it's like at work to not speak English

Obviously, there was a desire to take the next step toward becoming more proficient in basic English. Mary Anne explained in detail how group members could go about signing up for the ESOL class at Silver Spring International Middle, even passing around a waiting list that each group member signed up on. However, Mary warned that because of the recent rise in interest ever since the program started offering childcare last year, in reality, the chance that all or even any of the group members would be admitted in to a class was slim to none. That’s when the group kicked into action.

It started with IMPACT Long Branch Coordinator Ray proposing that we, with Mary and Rachel’s help, create our very own ESOL class. Group member Martin then asked if maybe we could use the Nob Hill YMCA center space, including its 5 computers. After agreeing that we should look into that possibility, the group came up with the idea that as a short-term step we could invite Mary-Anne to procter the official ESOL placement exam at a future meeting. Immediately, Mary-Anne and group members agreed to setting the exam date for two Wednesday’s from now, Dec. 2, once again at the Nob Hill YMCA Center (where we were last night).

Mary-Ann, sitting next to Tina, speaks to the group

It’s amazing to see the group grow closer together each week, with individual members developing the confidence to speak their minds, really making these their meetings. In this vein, we hope to encourage the members themselves to rotate on a weekly basis sharing facilitating/agenda setting responsibilities.